March 2, 2012

F2F - Day 5 Dave Williams Notes Journaling Exercise: The Prayer of Examen Thinking back over the past 24 hours I am thankful for a good night of sleep after not sleeping very well before that. I thank you Lord for being with Audrey yesterday, for giving her a good day and good conversation and good friends to be with while I am here away. I thank You, Lord for how prayer has been a significant part of yesterday and today. Your presence is real in this place, even in the midst of tiredness, longing, and feeling alone. Thank you for Your strength, Your love, and Your sustaining. When or where in the past 24 hours were you cooperating with God most fully? When were you resting? I feel like I was cooperating with God the most this morning during our prayer time. I really felt compelled by God to pray for spiritual protection from the devil. It was welling up inside of me, and I knew that it was God who was putting it there to pray for everyone in the cohort and for their families and friends. I would also say that last night talking to Audrey on Skype felt like cooperating with God. Connecting with my best friend and hearing all about her day and how God was moving in her life felt like a connection between us and God all at the same time. Giving Him glory and honor in all the ways He worked in both of our lives. I was resting when I was asleep! And it was the best night of rest that I have had so far in being here! Beginning today, how do you want to live your life differently? What patterns do you want to keep living tomorrow? I want to continue to grow in my prayer life, both solitary prayer and, spouse prayer, and communal prayer. Times of prayer this week have been especially moving to me. I also think that structure has been a good thing for me this week. This is something that Audrey and I have talked about just in the past few weeks and it seems to have made itself even more clear being here this week with a very set structure. That is a pattern I want to follow at home.

March 1, 2012

F2F - Day 4 Dave Williams Notes Journaling Exercise: "As the dust settles from all that we have read and discussed this morning, what rises to the surface of your soul?" Here are a few things that I underlined from the reading this morning: These are from Julian of Norwich. "God is as homey as a favorite quilt." "I only wanted to have the compassion I thought a loving soul would have for Jesus by witnessing His suffering." "Jesus, both God and man, who suffered for me." "I saw three properties. The first is that God made it, the second is that God loves it, the third is that God preserves it." These are from John Woolman. "The fear of man brings a snare." "The Lord's tender mercies are over all His works, and His ear is open to the cries and groans of the oppressed." - A few things rise to my soul out of these. Seeing the love of God as a quilt, that it wraps and enfolds me and feels warm and secure no matter how cold it is outside. Also, seeing that Christ suffered for me, why should I not suffer for Him? How convicting is that statement when I whine about my circumstances. And not being afraid to dive into something that God has called me to do because of the fear of man, or what they might think or say. "How is God speaking to you, and what is He calling you to do about it?" I guess in my mind it is continually coming to the realization that God loves me, loves me, loves me, loves me. Always. In my falling God's love is not diminished. It is heightened. And the second thing is looking for needs in my immediate community where I can engage in "social justice." And what my passions and convictions are within the social justice stream. How can I help people with what my passions and gifts are. Example: Audrey helping Christina for free. I love that about her. "What's the one thing that you will do from hearing from God this morning?" - With this I'm not sure of yet.... He replied, "Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it." (Luke 11:28 NIV)

February 23, 2012

Well, we are coming up on Face 2 Face, our week long intensive, set at Camp Quaker Ridge in Woodland Park, CO. In one sense I am really excited about the time there again. About what God is going to show all of us, how He is going to work in me, and being up in the mountains. And at the same time I have apprehension over it all too. Leaving Audrey for over a week is going to be hard, facing things that God might bring into my life that I might not necessarily want to face, etc... It's a both/and. A God thing that happened this past week was that I am reading Spiritual Friendship by Aelred, and I am also in a men's study going through Disciplines of a Godly Man, and the chapter that we talked about Wed. was on friendship. It was neat to see the similarities between the two books and also that I got an opportunity to share about what I had been reading from Aelred.

February 19, 2012

Wow! This week I have been reading Spiritual Friendship by Aelred of Revelux and it's something that I have never really thought about before. The true act of friendship and what it looks like and having Christ at the center of those friendships. Friendship is not something that I have really entered into with a specific purpose. It has just kind of happened, and I've never gone deeper into what true spiritual friendship should be. One of the things that caught me by surprise was that Aelred said at one point in his life he knew he wasn't fit to be somebody's friend. That we need to have things in our life in a place where we are able to be a friend. I've never thought that before. I am looking forward to reading further to see what else comes to the surface.

February 18, 2012

With the reading this week from Inside Out, I have been looking more "beneath the surface" of myself. This transition is not an easy one. I have had to say sorry to my wife more than once this week once I have been able to process through some of my emotions. But it has been good at the same time too. Being able to realize why I have acted in the way that I did, and pinpointing it. The next part, and in my mind, maybe the biggest is the continuation of this process in a habitual way.

February 10, 2012

Journal Entry #2 Over the past few weeks Audrey and I have set a goal for each week. The first one we did was to run 29 miles in the week of my birthday. Boom, done. The second one for the second week was to do a Body Rock Workout everyday of the week. Boom, done. This week the goal has been to read Psalm 46 at least once a day and to memorize the entire Psalm. Reading the Psalm has been accomplished so far, the memorizing part is still in the works, but we do have until Sunday. Not gonna lie this week has been a hard one. There have been some things that have happened that just haven't been very good. But Psalm 46 has been a beacon of hope and light through some of the darkness. Here is a question for you, just play along with me. Did God make this week harder because we were reading Psalm 46, or did God know this week was going to be hard and He have us Psalm 46 for something to hold onto through it all? I don't know the answer. Here is Psalm 46: God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire. He says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. (Psalm 46:1-11 NIV) Thank You Lord for Your Promises.

February 9, 2012

It has been a while since I have been able to blog since I don't have internet access at my house. This doesn't mean however that I have been slacking. I have really been looking forward to the time where I actually had time to write down some of the thoughts and things that have been happening. So I'm going to break these up into a few different posts so I don't end up with one giant one. The first thing that I want to journal about is that I got to go watch KU Basketball at Allen Fieldhouse for the first time in my life! It was an incredible experience being there with all the people, noise, and hype. Not something that I will forget anytime soon. The seating capacity in Allen Fieldhouse is 16,300 and as we were sitting there with everyone else around us, I was reminded of the story about Jesus feeding the 5,000. And if you have 5,000 men not counting women and children I think it would be fair to guess that there could have been close to 16,000. It was really eye opening to have that many people tangibally sitting in one place and then imagining that they were all listening to Jesus speak, and then even more astonishing is that they were all fed with a few fish and some bread. And in Scripture everyone was full. I'm not sure the amount of food served that night at the basketball game, but I can tell you that it was a lot, and I know that not everyone was fully satisfied. I guess the biggest thing that hit me was how incredible that story is, and it happened twice! I could just imagine all of us sitting there in Allen Fieldhouse ripping off a piece of bread, passing it onto the next person, them ripping off a piece, and it just continuing. His miracles are amazing...