April 6, 2012

Today is Good Friday. This is the first time in over 6 years that I have not had to do something to prepare for Holy Week. It has been different. Usually, today marks the start of a very busy weekend in leading people through the death and resurrection of Jesus. But not this year. I've been sick for the past few days and honestly today feels no different than any other day. If we are supposed to enter in to the crucifixion and pain and suffering today than I guess I feel like I am. My hope is almost on empty, I'm confused about life, I am depressed. I don't know where my place is. It makes sense that the disciples were so questioning of Jesus' resurrection. In the middle of suffering it is really hard to believe that something better is coming, and then even when it does we want to make sure. We want the real thing, not some glimmer of hope that's only going to lead to more suffering because it's not real.