October 9, 2012

Persistent Prayer: Pastor Ken Redford preached on this topic on Sunday. Really spoke to me, and I never had thought of prayer in this way before. I want to continue to be persistent in my prayer. And as Audrey pointed out, that when we pray God will give us more of the Holy Spirit (Luke 11:1-13).

Incarnational Missionaries: Talked about this in class today. Seeing the nature of the Church (Ecclesiology) in the light of Christ's life (Christology). Christ was sent by the Father, and He is now sending us.

Running in the mountains: Got to run 4 miles with my good friend Donnie Hinshaw today. Got to breathe really hard, talk about God, and connect on a physical & spiritual level.

Climbing up Soldier Mountain: Took the remainder of my lunch break today and climbed up to the top. Great view. Love finding God in the mountains.

October 4, 2012

Something that I have completely enjoyed and totally didn't expect in moving was already having such a close spiritual friend and brother in Christ Jesus. My relationship with this person started almost immeaditely and it was very clearly him pursuing my friendship, which was great! The conversations, prayers, encouragement, and laughter that we have been able to share together have been completely life giving and a wonderful gift from God.

Even yesterday I got to go with him to help cut down some massive tree limbs at another person's house. Serving side by side and helping this person with something that they couldn't do by themselves was great. And then last night sitting around a fire with our wives sharing stories and connecting in ways that never would have happened unless we were sitting around a fire. It was great. Truly a gift. Thanks be to God for our spiritual friends!

September 27, 2012

God has been showing me that no matter what life throws at us, He will walk with us through that. Hearing stories from people about the hurts and pain that they have experienced in their lives, or seeing it in their face as they tell you their story can seem very disheartening. Could even cause the one hearing to not want to get involved in the other person's pain. "Don't want to bring that into my life," they might say.
All around us, in every single person their is pain. There are stories that are dark. But, maybe it should be a bigger but...
BUT,
God is in the business of redemption. Of healing. Of hope. Of love. Of new beginnings.
He is victorious! And one of my gifts to offer as a Pastor is God. God the Redeemer, Healer, Lover of their souls.

AND MY SOUL TOO!

September 20, 2012

This week has felt off.
It's one of those things where you just can't quite put your finger on it, but you know it's there.
Which in some ways can make it even more frustrating than knowing what is wrong.

I like clear cut things in my life.
If I'm given too many choices or my life is too loose than I revert to stagnation.
Yet, on the other hand if I'm too busy or things are too rigid I want to rebel against those as well.

Is finding balance in life a continual practice?
I think so...
And as I type that I'm a little disheartened knowing that I will always be testing, evaluating, etc... to make sure that my life is balanced right. It's not finding the balance and then it's always good. It takes constant work and effort.

September 17, 2012

One of the great things about being an Associate Pastor is the fact that you don't have to preach every Sunday. I have really enjoyed this on a few different levels.

The first being that I don't have to prepare a sermon every week. I get at least 2 weeks every time. This helps in the preparation, marination?, and overall delivery of the sermon in my opinion.

Second, I get to hear someone else (Senior Pastor) preach. I get to share in the knowledge and work that he has put in, the words that God has given him that week.

Some notes from this last week's sermon:

"You just can't keep us from Jesus." - I really liked this quote.

Spiritual Growth doesn't happen by accident.

Develop good spiritual habits. Don't focus on the mess, focus on Christ.

Praise the Lord for not having to preach every Sunday!

September 11, 2012

Lord,

I thank You for the cool breeze this morning.
For the warmth of the sunshine.
And how they offset each other.

Thank You for coffee.
For Your love for me.

Help me Lord to continue to seek after You when things get difficult or I get busy.
You are my rock.
Yet, often times instead of standing on the Rock, I choose to swim alone,
and then I wonder why I am struggling or getting tired.
Don't let me lose sight of You.

Amen.

September 08, 2012

God has been bringing the theme of "family" more and more into the forefront of my life lately. Granted, it has been within some of the books that we are reading for the Master's Program, but also just in life.
Seeing how much affect we can have in our families, and the fact that if we all took care of our families 1st, quite a few of the "bigger" problems within society would take care of themselves because our families would be strong.
I guess my mindset has shifted some reading Crouch's "Culture Making". The realization that the places we have the most influence are the smaller ones. Individuals, families, small groups, close friends, Church.
Moving from the inside out rather than make a huge push and focus for something grandios only to have it fail or not reach it's potential because the infrastructure of individuals and families isn't there.

September 1, 2012

In the "Good and Beautiful Community" this week we read about doing peculiar acts for someone. Something out of the ordinary and generally nice. Something that isn't really expected by our standards of living for today. I have been racking my brain all week as to what to do that would be "really good".
Not really the point of the exercise. Chalk it up to humanity, vain-glory, wanting to be the best, etc... but I really wanted to be able to say I did this amazing thing for someone! Not necessarily because of my love for them, or out of my time spent with Jesus, but because I wanted to "win" at this training exercise.
And reflecting back on this week today, I'm glad that God didn't allow me to think of that thing. That I was humbled before Him. I did pick up the dishes when I was a guest at someone's home. They weren't expecting that.

August 27, 2012

Met with my new mentor/partner for the apprenticeship section of class today. I'm guessing I'm the only one in the cohort who has had a different one each time? It is what it is I guess. Well, the meeting went good and it was an honor to share some time with my partner.
One of the things that stuck out to me in the 1st chapter of Good & Beautiful Community was the soul training exercise. Doing something peculiar for someone. Audrey's parents just came to visit and gave us a book called "Love Does" by Bob Goff. I'd heard of the book and wanted to read it ever since it came out, but with ALL the reading for my Master's I hadn't purchased it. The premise of the book is exactly what the soul training exercise is for this week. Let your love do something. Marry the faith in Christ with the actions of Christ.

I will be on the lookout this week as how to fulfill this!

August 20, 2012

As Dave Williams says, "Back in the saddle." This phrase actually applies to me in 2 ways. 1. Starting up my 2nd year/3rd Semester of my Master's Program. and 2. I am back working as a full time Associate Pastor in a Church. I was hired at Meridian Friends Church in Meridian, Idaho on July 15, 2012. I'm not going to lie and say everything about moving, getting back into full time ministry, and everything else that comes when you uproot and leave a place you have been for a while was easy. There have been some definite rough patches in the last month and half. Yet, at the same time, we know that God has called us here for a purpose.
Starting up the Master's again brings on its own set of emotions separate from the rest of life. I am excited about the reading, and also dreading the reading. Excited about our weekly discussions and not knowing how I'm going to fit it all in. Mostly ups and downs concerning it all.

So I guess my first post is to new beginnings?

April 29, 2012

What has God been showing me? To be honest with others in my life. To stop trying to hide behind the facade that everything is perfect. To lead from a place of brokenness and openness. To be in a place with Christ where I don't have to feel like I have to have all the answers and have it all together.

April 25, 2012

"Lord, help us to see that our well-being is inextricably bound to the well-being of our neighbor. Our sorrows are shared. Our longings are shared. Our fears are shared. Enable us also to share compassion, patience, and courage today. Amen." God has really been putting community smack into the middle of my face for the past few weeks. This is something that I want to get better at.

April 20, 2012

Right now I am sitting in "Little Bear" Cabin at Camp Quaker Ridge. It's early in the morning and the sun is just rising up over all of the Pine Trees. I'm drinking Starbucks Coffee and eating my breakfast inside, warm and cozy. Audrey and I have been able to come here for a couple of days. We really needed to get away from Haviland and have some time to seek after the Lord and what He has in store for us next. Quaker Ridge has become a place of change for me. I never thought that it would be when I first came here, but everytime I have come something inside of me changes. Well, that generally leads to outside change as well. In October 2011 it led us to leave Kemmerer and move to Haviland. In early March, I really felt God saying it was time to move forward - nothing in Haviland was really opening up. And here I am again mid-April where I have learned more about myself. Each of these times here have not been easy. They have actually been pretty tough. God throws down the gauntlant in the mountains. I am left with nothing else but Him. Right now we are waiting. Waiting for what God has next, and in the meantime we are relying on Him.

April 12, 2012

"We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer I really liked this quote as I read it. But the more time you spend thinking about what this actually says the more you start to realize that this might not be something that is "liked" when it is happening. What I mean is that usually when we are interuppted we see whatever it is as a hassle or bother. It generally comes at the times when we are busy doing something else and our minds are completely occupied with that task. So being interuppted by God means that I am going to have to let go of my agenda, my plans, my control over not only whatever I'm doing at the moment, but if I truly want God to be my everything than I have to give up my life. Interesting how such a seemingly simple sentence can have such deep meaning and connotation.

April 6, 2012

Today is Good Friday. This is the first time in over 6 years that I have not had to do something to prepare for Holy Week. It has been different. Usually, today marks the start of a very busy weekend in leading people through the death and resurrection of Jesus. But not this year. I've been sick for the past few days and honestly today feels no different than any other day. If we are supposed to enter in to the crucifixion and pain and suffering today than I guess I feel like I am. My hope is almost on empty, I'm confused about life, I am depressed. I don't know where my place is. It makes sense that the disciples were so questioning of Jesus' resurrection. In the middle of suffering it is really hard to believe that something better is coming, and then even when it does we want to make sure. We want the real thing, not some glimmer of hope that's only going to lead to more suffering because it's not real.

April 2, 2012

Watchman Nee (China, 1903-1972) God must bring us to a point - I cannot tell you how it will be, but He will do it - where, through a deep and dark experience, our natural power is touched and fundamentally weakened, so that we no longer dare trust ourselves. He has had to deal with some of us very harshly, and take us through difficult and painful ways, in order to get us there... But then at last it is that He can begin to use us. We would like to have death and resurrection put together within one hour of each other. We cannot face the thought that God will keep us aside for so long a time; we cannot bear to wait. And I cannot tell you how long He will take, but in principle I think it is quite safe to say this, that there will be a definite period when He will keep you there... All is in darkness, but it is only for a night. It must indeed be a full night, but that is all. Afterwards you will find that everything is given back to you in glorious resurrection; and nothing can measure the difference between what was before and what now is! Praying that the morning comes quickly for my soul.

April 1, 2012

Today marks the start of a new month. I really can't believe how quickly the months have seemed to fly by since we have been here in Haviland. Returning home from face2face doesn't really feel that long ago, yet here we are fully into spring in Kansas. Already turning on the AC (which we never had in Wyoming-didn't need it). Where have I seen God this week? Good question... I was drawn to the prayers that Dave used on Thursday night in class, I have had good conversation with friends, and I am going to say that I have seen Him in the difficulties of this week. It has been a tougher week in general.

March 29, 2012

The last chapter in the Good and Beautiful Life talked about lying. How we all lie constantly on a daily basis, hardly even registering that we have done it. I think I fall into this trap quite often. Saying something to get out of a situation that I might not really want to be in rather than just telling the truth about it. It is easier to tell a lie than it is to tell the truth. You don't have to reveal what is truly going on in your life, you can keep people at bay and at the surface with small little lies. In the book Jim says that we are usually appalled when we find out that we have been lied to, but I think that sometimes people are okay with accepting the little lie because they don't really want to know what's going on with you anyway. It's more effort on their part to actually deal with who you really are, so they accept the small lie on the surface because they don't want to go deep either. But easy isn't best. I feel like I have always known this, but when it comes right down to it, I still want easy in the midst of the hard. I have a hard time really remembering that it's the hard things that make me stronger, that make my faith grow, that change who I am. When I am in the middle of something hard, I just want it to be over. Somehow I want to make the connection in the moment - that this hard thing is producing something lasting - making it worth it.

March 14, 2012

Coming back from F2F in Colorado was a transition. After being immersed in the class times, structure, mountains, etc... coming back to "normal" life has been a little bit difficult. I'm glad to be home, don't get me wrong, but entering back into life here and figuring out life in the future has been a bit of a burden. I feel like I am in a place where I've healed/recovered from the past and I'm ready to move forward, I just don't totally know where that is yet. I'm praying for direction...

March 2, 2012

F2F - Day 5 Dave Williams Notes Journaling Exercise: The Prayer of Examen Thinking back over the past 24 hours I am thankful for a good night of sleep after not sleeping very well before that. I thank you Lord for being with Audrey yesterday, for giving her a good day and good conversation and good friends to be with while I am here away. I thank You, Lord for how prayer has been a significant part of yesterday and today. Your presence is real in this place, even in the midst of tiredness, longing, and feeling alone. Thank you for Your strength, Your love, and Your sustaining. When or where in the past 24 hours were you cooperating with God most fully? When were you resting? I feel like I was cooperating with God the most this morning during our prayer time. I really felt compelled by God to pray for spiritual protection from the devil. It was welling up inside of me, and I knew that it was God who was putting it there to pray for everyone in the cohort and for their families and friends. I would also say that last night talking to Audrey on Skype felt like cooperating with God. Connecting with my best friend and hearing all about her day and how God was moving in her life felt like a connection between us and God all at the same time. Giving Him glory and honor in all the ways He worked in both of our lives. I was resting when I was asleep! And it was the best night of rest that I have had so far in being here! Beginning today, how do you want to live your life differently? What patterns do you want to keep living tomorrow? I want to continue to grow in my prayer life, both solitary prayer and, spouse prayer, and communal prayer. Times of prayer this week have been especially moving to me. I also think that structure has been a good thing for me this week. This is something that Audrey and I have talked about just in the past few weeks and it seems to have made itself even more clear being here this week with a very set structure. That is a pattern I want to follow at home.